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Have you ever been in a relationship for a really long time? One where you kind of just did things because that’s what you’ve been doing? Maybe the relationship didn’t really serve you, but it was there. It was a part of the routine you had baked into your life. So much so, in fact, that you didn’t even question why you did it. That relationship was what you knew. It was “normal.”

Between Kobe Bryant passing, COVID-19, and the deaths of Breonna Taylor, Ahmad Arbery and George Floyd–things have certainly been different. Even with the murders of Taylor, Arbery and FLoyd, I have to say that things are feeling different. It doesn’t feel like we’re the only ones enraged by these injustices. There seems to be more dialogue about this matter from folks who aren’t black. People are protesting these injustices internationally. White folks are sincerely checking in with their black co-workers and talking to them about racism. I haven’t worn hard-bottom shoes or slacks in over three months. The reaction–feels different–perhaps even…”new.”

By my count, we’re about three solid months into the stay-at-home orders due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I realize, even as I write this, that I am writing from a position of privilege and comfort. Not everybody is able to work from home like I have been blessed to do. I both recognize and appreciate that. But there a significant amount of people who work in disparate industries–from government to tech–that will likely find this post valuable in some way.

With that being said, I believe that we–as a country–need to start seriously taking stock of what this particular pandemic has shown us, and really ask ourselves a very serious question: What in the hell are we trying to get back to? Don’t get me wrong, as someone who has taken social distancing extremely seriously, even I am pining to go out to a bar or a restaurant–something. What I’m asking is this: Why are we trying so hard to get back to where we were?

Last time I checked–most of us didn’t enjoy our morning commutes. The evenings ones tended to garner the same regard. I have put a little more than $40 in my gas tank since I was directed to work from home three months ago. Why should I scream and fuss to get back to having to get up at 5:45 AM just so I can be out the door by 6:45, to be at work by 7:30. Paying $12 a day to park at my job, and spend another hour in traffic after I’ve spent the last 8 1/2 hours at work? All said and done, I’m home by 5–but it takes me about a 1/2 an hour to “get the work day off of me” before I can settle in.

That’s 12 hours of my waking day dealing with my job. If I have a wife or kids, that’s maybe a couple of hours of time before everybody needs to shut it down to start all over again. I like the model where I get almost three hours of my day back and still get to do my job. I don’t have to peel myself out of bed before the sun comes up (in the winter time), or yell at the guy who cut me off on the way to work. I can put on some comfortable clothes and do my job (oh yeah, no dry-cleaning cost).

Let’s be honest, I have a little more time to rest, sleep, exercise–think. I am also saving money which positions me to either save or pay off debt if I have any. My likelihood for bodily injury dramatically decreases by not being forced to commute to the same job I’ve been doing from home for the last three months. I am more well-rested, and, I am not in harm’s way when it comes to a very real virus that this country hasn’t gotten a handle on yet.

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Let’s also consider this: How are we supposed to go back to work when many places in the country that are designed to provide childcare are shut down. If people have no place to care for their children, they’re not coming in. If you think that you’re going to force me to come in when you can’t guarantee my health and well-being just because I don’t have kids? Nah. That’s discriminatory.

Last I checked, I’ve been eating better because I’m eating more home cooked meals. That means more in groceries, yes–but less in the way of fast food. Instead of getting up at 5:45, I’m getting up closer to 7 (when I’m not joining my 6am Zoom workout group). That’s more rest, and better fitness with less cost because I’m not paying gym fees. That $240+ I was paying just to park goes back into my pockets. Maybe I can save or invest that money if I don’t have some debt I need to pay down. My car insurance company gave me a rebate because I wasn’t driving as much. Honestly–if you think about it–working from home has been almost like a pay increase (I say this half-jokingly, of course).

Bottom line: this has been a trying period for everyone–particularly those who have lost loved ones and those who have actively been social distancing like this is a real threat. But we’ve also had a bit more time to slow down and talk to family and friends a bit more. Spend less money. Talk to a therapist in some cases. There’s an opportunity to shift the way we have done things to the way we can do things.

Studies have shown for years that people who work from home are statistically more efficient in their duties–and yes–often work more (which is a perfectly logical counter against the idea of a pay increase if you’re now teleworking 100%). However, there is less air pollution from CO2 emissions–the planet gets to breathe. Water runs cleaner. And let’s be real–we know this is not the end of the pandemic. This can and likely will happen again very soon, unfortunately. So when the dust clears, and we’ve found a way to be productive in the execution of our jobs (for those who have that ability), why should we have to go back to the way things were? Why are we rushing to go backwards?

Sure, I want to be able to go and freely walk around in public without a mask on (though I’ll probably keep one close by moving forward), but that is a separate argument from how we conduct business in this country. We have an opportunity to have a more balanced life where our jobs demand a third of our day and not half of it. That’s progress we should not be overlooking just because we want to feel like we beat COVID.

Again, I realize that those restaurants have employees that rely upon customers, just like the dry cleaners do, and that’s great. I want them to still get business. Eventually, it will be safe to open businesses back up across the board–and I look forward to that day. I’m merely suggesting that we should have an actual conversation about what work looks like for those who can work remotely. Rushing people back to what was just so you can say you did something doesn’t make a lot of sense when what was isn’t making me safer, paying me more, making me happier, or healthier or wealthier…

Often, trying to go back to what was–especially after you have seen what is–simply ain’t going to cut it now, or in the future. Why? Because we have the opportunity to see things in a new light. We gain perspective. We grow. Mature. Evolve. I’d be willing to wager it’s like that in most relationships. I certainly feel it’s like that with regard to this pandemic. Sometimes you need to let go of what was–even if it’s scary or uncomfortable–and try something new. Maybe it’s time we think about that before we all decide to go back to the way things used to be.

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